Breaking the Silence: My Journey After Narcissistic Abuse

This blog is long overdue — not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because for so long, I didn’t know how to say it. I’ve been carrying pieces of this story for years, some too painful to look at, others buried so deep I forgot they were even mine.

For 23 years, I lived in a relationship that slowly chipped away at who I was. And even now, three years post-divorce, I still find myself picking up the remnants of who I used to be. You don’t just walk away from narcissistic abuse and feel whole again. You walk away questioning everything — your worth, your voice, your memories, even your sanity.

I wasn’t perfect. But I was loyal. I was hopeful. I was committed. I bent over backward to make it work, to keep peace, to “fix” things. And somehow, I was always the problem. Always the one who needed to do better, be better, try harder.

The gaslighting. The blame-shifting. The manipulation that made me feel like I was going crazy — that’s the kind of abuse no one sees. It doesn’t leave bruises, but it leaves scars. Deep ones.

And even now, I still get triggered. Still feel the weight of everything I carried — and sometimes still carry. There are moments when I feel rage for the years I lost, the dreams I shelved, the parts of myself I gave away. But there’s also something else growing in me: freedom.

Freedom doesn’t come all at once. It’s not a light switch. It’s a process — a sacred, messy, painful process. And I’m still in it.

But here’s what I know: I’m not the only one. There are women reading this right now who feel stuck in the same patterns, silenced by fear, or convinced that it’s somehow their fault. Sis, let me say this plainly — it’s not your fault. You are not crazy. You are not broken. You are not too much or not enough.

You are waking up. You are healing. And you are not alone.

That’s why I started Never Be Perfect. Because perfection was the lie I chased in order to survive. I thought if I was perfect enough, he’d finally love me right. But that day never came. So I stopped chasing it.

This blog isn’t about being polished. It’s about being real. It’s about sharing what it means to reclaim your power, your peace, and your purpose — one messy, beautiful step at a time.

So if you’re reading this and it feels like I’m writing your story, I want you to know: You’re not crazy. You’re not imagining it. And you don’t have to stay silent.

Your voice matters. Your story matters. And healing is possible — even here, even now!

If you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship and need someone to talk to, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support 24/7.