At Least I Don’t Beat You

We are taught at a very young age that abuse is visible.  If someone has a black eye, busted lip, bruises, etc…they could be the victim of abuse.

What we aren’t taught, is that abuse isn’t always visible.  That the absolute worse type of abuse doesn’t leave marks that are seen by the naked eye.  Emotional, mental, and psychological abuse is so VERY damaging and often goes left unnoticed because we aren’t aware of what we should be looking for.  

The last 6+ years of my marriage was pure H E L L.  And when I would tell him how mean he’d become and how very unloved and unwanted I felt he would say : “You have no idea just how good you have it.  I provide for you and our kids and you can do what you want.  You don’t get how lucky you are. At least I don’t beat you.”  

This became his “go-to” statement.  As if,  the fact that he didn’t leave visible marks on my skin were something that should be celebrated.  As if I should be grateful for the HELL I lived in each day because the wounds he inflicted weren’t going to leave scars on my skin.  

Abuse doesn’t have to leave visible markings on you to completely destroy who you are.  To leave you with years of healing.  Abuse is just that, ABUSE.  It takes so many different forms and is inflicted in so many ways.  

It is so important for people to understand that just because they aren’t bleeding or bruised, doesn’t mean they aren’t being abused.  If something feels off, it probably is.  If you feel yourself losing who you are…your dreams, desires, everything about you that you know…you are probably suffering from abuse.  

Get Help.

Educate Yourself.

Get Out.

Heal.