You Are Not The “New” Me
It has taken me such a long time to regain some semblance of who I am. I love myself. I love the person I have become coming out of such a horrific situation. I literally lost half of my life with an abusive narcissistic psychopath. He brought me to my absoulte lowest and while I lay there suffering…he allowed his affair partner to kick me repeatedly with details of their 4+ year affair. She shared screenshots of snapchat messages between them, places they f*cked, how they’d be f*cking while I’d be messaging him wondering why he was so late coming home. How she videoed herself making out with her roomate for him along with many other requested videos. How she was willing to do whatever he asked of her and that was what made her “valuable” and made me worthless. How he’d told her she was the best he’d ever had, how he wished after year 1 that he’d divorced me…so many things no woman should ever have to hear. The two of them did all they could to destroy me. I truly believe they hoped that I’d never recover from what they’d done to me.
Sadly, it almost happened. I hit rock bottom of the darkest pit I’d ever seen and wasn’t sure I would ever see my way out. I wasn’t sure I would live, or even why I should at that point.
But I did.
And I am so thankful for so many things. I am so thankful that I am free from such an abusive person who did everything in his power to destory such a beautiful, wonderful, person. For 23 years he shoved me into darkness and made me feel worthless. And her…she did all she could to ensure she got what she wanted.
The ironic part of all of it to me…is that she wants to be me. She thinks she is the “new” me. From trying to cook things that I cook, to listening to similar music, and trying to be everything she thinks he wants.
To Her:
The little white trash whore who thinks she won the prize and thinks she has become the “New” me. You have the man who cheated on me repeatedly througout our 22 year marriage. The man who did everything he could to belittle me and make me feel worthless so that he could manage the puppet he turned me into after years of abuse. You have the man who is incapable of loving anyone other than himself. You have the man who has zero emotions, but will do his best to create the ones he feels he should portray when he thinks he should be displaying some type of feeling. You have the man who is a pathological liar, a psychopath, and has narcissistic personality disorder. You are the victor. You have won YOUR prize. But little girl…you will never be me. Because I have survived a hell that no one should ever endure, and you…You are just entering into the dark, bismal abyss. Enjoy your stay and hopefully you make it to the other side one day when he finds his new supply.
