Control

I assumed that after divorce, the control and manipulation and toxicity with my ex would end.  I think the important thing I want to share with those who may be in mentally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive situations is that you must go no contact. Now, we have two children, 17 and 20. I have 4 months left of having to share certain info regarding our 17 year old. However, I have him blocked on everything. I have told him to only reach out if there is an emergency.  The kids live with me and honestly, there is no reason for him to contact me.

He is desperate for the control he had over us for so long. He texted our children the other night, “How long are you going to intentionally ignore me? Do you plan on doing this for the rest of your lives?”  He has treated us all horribly over the years and they, after years of counseling, can see that he is toxic. They have distanced themselves from him in an effort to heal.

Now, in an effort to protect himself and his image, he tells everyone that i have “poisoned them against him”. It’s laughable honestly. At first I kept trying to defend myself until I realized that the people who matter, know the truth and in the end, that is what is important. People like him will always have their flying monkeys who will believe anything they say because they are wrapped up in the false self they present and the charm they exude.

Not allowing him to impact me and our children is huge. Not responding to his constant barage of emails that land in my spam folder is huge. He feeds off the interaction and ability to say and do things that set me off.  He wants a reaction from me and out children and he does any and every thing to cause that. 

There is an end in sight to the maddening control he desperately reaches for. Stay strong and stay no contact. Every little response, ever acknowledgment just feeds into their abusive cycle.