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There are still days that I question why I’ve had to endure everything that I have. Why was I abused for as long as I was before finally seeking and finding freedom? Why am I still not totally free of the monster, my ex? Why do I still have to deal with so many things, feeling like I can’t catch a break? Ever. And why are the burdens and stresses around me so heavy sometimes that I feel that I can’t breathe?

And then, I will see a post, quote, or something that reminds me. I wasn’t put through what I was because I’m less of a person. I don’t continue to endure and fight battles daily because I’m weak or God has it out for me. On the contrary, I am where I am because I’m exactly where God needs me to be. At this moment, everything I have gone through is to put me where he needs me to live a life that can show others WHO HE IS. So that I can tell my story of how I fell to my knees begging God for help because I was at a breaking point I wasn’t sure I could recover from. God didn’t allow these things to happen to me, but he has always intended to use them for good. He has walked with me by my side through every trial and tribulation I’ve faced and continue to deal with.

Sometimes, I still pick up the heaviness of all the things surrounding me and weigh me down, refusing to allow anyone, including God, to help. But he’s there, just waiting to help me carry all the unnecessary worries and concerns that plague me. He’s there, waiting for me to lean on him and help shoulder the way. I just have to give up my stubbornness and pride and allow the help. He doesn’t want me to deal with this alone.

But more than anything, he’s there, reminding me…ever so softly and subtly…that I am where I am because He has a plan. And he has been nudging me, never forcing, just gently pressing…I have a purpose waiting to be filled if I only listen to what He is asking of me. I am not the best writer, but he keeps telling me to write. To tell my story. To speak the truth about what I have experienced and endured because someone is listening. Someone out there is exactly where I was and needs to hear: YOU will make it. You have a purpose, a plan, and there is a future for you. It may just be one person who needs to hear it and to that person…I apologize for my not-great writing, LOL.

You may have to continue to walk a path that isn’t easy. You may have days when you feel like maybe your abuser was right. You are indeed worthless, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, crazy, paranoid, bitter, selfish, …every horrible thing imaginable…but God is right there beside you, at this moment…and He’s just waiting for you to pass that over to Him. Let Him hold that for you and assure you that nothing he creates is terrible and that He intends all things for good, including where you are in this very moment. YOU can make it, and your life will be so much more than you ever imagined if you Trust in Him. 

Continue moving forward, even when you feel like everything is knocking you back. Continue doing your best, even when it seems minimal. Continue to grow closer to God, even when you feel nothing could possibly lighten your load. But most of all, CONTINUE.