Chosen to Be Broken : Malignant Narcissism

Being in a relationship with a malignant narcissist doesn’t just hurt — it rearranges your entire sense of reality. You don’tsee it at first, because they don’t come in swinging. They come in charming, intense, maybe even a little broken, and something about that draws you in. You feel needed. Special. Chosen. What you may not realize is that from the start, it wasn’t really about love or connection — it was about control.

A malignant narcissist often hides manipulation behind a polished, charming exterior. They don’t just crave attention — they seek power. They observe you closely, learning your routines, vulnerabilities, and hopes. And over time, those are the very things that are silently used against you.

At first, the affection feels overwhelming — like something out of a dream. But it shifts. Slowly. Subtly. They begin to chip away at your confidence. A backhanded compliment here. An uncomfortable silence there. They may withdraw emotionally or swing between warmth and coldness so often that you begin to question yourself.

You find yourself walking on eggshells, never quite sure which version of them you’ll face. The one who makes you feel seen — or the one who makes you feel small.

They gaslight you so well you start to think you’re the problem. You shrink. You second-guess your emotions. You lose your voice trying to keep the peace. And the scariest part? Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re in a relationship with a monster — because they wear a mask so well. To the outside world, they’re charismatic. Respected. Even admired. But behind closed doors, it’s psychological warfare.

The damage they cause doesn’t always leave bruises. It leaves confusion. Isolation. A loss of identity so deep, you forget who you were before them. But here’s what I need you to hear: it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t attract the abuse — you just had the kind of heart that a predator saw as easy to exploit. That’s not a weakness. That’s proof you’re human. Empathetic. Real.

Healing from a malignant narcissist isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about piecing yourself back together — sometimes from the ashes. But you can. You will. And when you do, you won’t just be free… you’ll be unshakable.