Elizabeth Smart Documentary on Netflix

I’ve been watching the Elizabeth Smart documentary on Netflix, and while her story is extraordinary and horrific in ways I will never claim to understand, it stirred something in me that I couldn’t ignore.

Not because our situations are the same — they are not. Not even close.
But because watching how long it took for the justice system to respond to abuse at all reminded me of something painfully familiar.

The waiting.

The delays.
The way harm can be acknowledged and still not acted on with any real urgency.

That’s the part that hits close to home.

I’ve been in court for years now dealing with my ex after everything he did to me, and this isn’t something I can wrap up neatly or speak about from the other side. I am still in it. He still has power. He still has control. And the justice system is the very thing keeping that connection alive.

People assume court brings closure. That it creates distance. That once you leave the relationship, you’re free.

But prolonged legal battles don’t bring relief — they extend the trauma. They require you to stay tethered to someone you’re trying to escape, while calling it “due process.” They ask you to revisit the past while you’re actively trying to heal from it.

There are days it feels like the abuse never really ended. It just changed form.

He still shows up in my life through filings, hearings, delays, and legal language. He still gets a voice. And I’m expected to keep explaining myself, keep justifying my responses, keep proving my pain — while he continues living his life.

That imbalance is hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.

The justice system struggles with abuse not because survivors are unclear, but because abuse doesn’t fit the system’s expectations. It isn’t always one event. It’s patterns. Control. Psychological erosion. It happens quietly, over time, and often without witnesses.

So survivors are left trying to translate lived experience into legal evidence, while the person who caused the harm benefits from doubt, loopholes, and delays.

I don’t expect the justice system to be perfect. But I do believe it should be safer. Faster. More trauma-informed. I believe survivors shouldn’t have to remain entangled with their abusers indefinitely just to be taken seriously.

Abuse isn’t rare.
Delayed justice isn’t neutral.
And healing doesn’t happen on a court’s timeline.

If you’re still in it — still showing up to court, still feeling controlled by someone you’re trying to be free from — you’re not imagining how exhausting that is. You’re not weak for feeling stuck. And you’re not wrong for wanting it to be over.

Watching that documentary didn’t give me answers. It didn’t offer closure. It just reminded me how often justice moves slowly when it comes to abuse — and how much that slowness costs the people who are already carrying enough.

And that’s something we need to talk about more.