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I’d Rather Be Beaten
I’d rather be beaten. I know that must sound like the craziest statement ever, but hear me out. When people hear the word abuse, they expect to see bruises, cuts, swollen places, broken bones, anything that is VISIBLE. Abuse is not always VISIBLE. Sometimes, abuse comes in the form of mental, emotional, and psychological abuse. When this type of abuse occurs, it isn’t always obvious to others, or even the victim, what is happening. The destruction that occurs manifests in the form of sadness, depression, anxiety, craziness, lashing out, drastic mood swings, chronic fatigue, depleted immunity, weight gain or loss, isolation, memory loss, brain fog…the list goes on and on. It took…
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Holidays + Narcissists
We had a wonderful, uneventful Christmas this year. The kids and I celebrated the holiday with family, friends, and significant others. This year, the kids chose not to celebrate Christmas with their father. After almost a year of not speaking to or responding to his texts, they decided that neither wanted to be around him and wouldn’t see him for Christmas. At Midnight, their father messaged them Merry Christmas. Then, he never once reached out to them the entire day. He celebrated with his AP and family and pretty much pretended they didn’t exist, as has become standard with him. My thing is, as the child, it is their…
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Continue
There are still days that I question why I’ve had to endure everything that I have. Why was I abused for as long as I was before finally seeking and finding freedom? Why am I still not totally free of the monster, my ex? Why do I still have to deal with so many things, feeling like I can’t catch a break? Ever. And why are the burdens and stresses around me so heavy sometimes that I feel that I can’t breathe? And then, I will see a post, quote, or something that reminds me. I wasn’t put through what I was because I’m less of a person. I don’t…
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If Only I’d Known A Journal Could Hold So Much Power + Wisdom
I wish I had known 23 years ago, the power that a journal could have in helping me understand what was being done to me.
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Narcissistic Baiting…Who Knew This Was a Thing
Raise your hand if you’ve never heard of Narcissistic Baiting. Okay. My hand is up too. While I experienced this, pretty much daily, I had NO IDEA there was a name for it and that this very thing happened to other people. It blows my mind every time I learn that I am not alone in what I went through. The trauma, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and what is apparently called, Narcissistic Baiting. Narcissistic Baiting is when the narcissist instigates you. It’s when they do something that they know is going to trigger a response. You have become so frustrated with all of the lies and manipulation and constantly being told…
