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I’d Rather Be Beaten
I’d rather be beaten. I know that must sound like the craziest statement ever, but hear me out. When people hear the word abuse, they expect to see bruises, cuts, swollen places, broken bones, anything that is VISIBLE. Abuse is not always VISIBLE. Sometimes, abuse comes in the form of mental, emotional, and psychological abuse. When this type of abuse occurs, it isn’t always obvious to others, or even the victim, what is happening. The destruction that occurs manifests in the form of sadness, depression, anxiety, craziness, lashing out, drastic mood swings, chronic fatigue, depleted immunity, weight gain or loss, isolation, memory loss, brain fog…the list goes on and on. It took…
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Holidays + Narcissists
We had a wonderful, uneventful Christmas this year. The kids and I celebrated the holiday with family, friends, and significant others. This year, the kids chose not to celebrate Christmas with their father. After almost a year of not speaking to or responding to his texts, they decided that neither wanted to be around him and wouldn’t see him for Christmas. At Midnight, their father messaged them Merry Christmas. Then, he never once reached out to them the entire day. He celebrated with his AP and family and pretty much pretended they didn’t exist, as has become standard with him. My thing is, as the child, it is their…
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Continue
There are still days that I question why I’ve had to endure everything that I have. Why was I abused for as long as I was before finally seeking and finding freedom? Why am I still not totally free of the monster, my ex? Why do I still have to deal with so many things, feeling like I can’t catch a break? Ever. And why are the burdens and stresses around me so heavy sometimes that I feel that I can’t breathe? And then, I will see a post, quote, or something that reminds me. I wasn’t put through what I was because I’m less of a person. I don’t…
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Control
I assumed that after divorce, the control and manipulation and toxicity with my ex would end. I think the important thing I want to share with those who may be in mentally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive situations is that you must go no contact. Now, we have two children, 17 and 20. I have 4 months left of having to share certain info regarding our 17 year old. However, I have him blocked on everything. I have told him to only reach out if there is an emergency. The kids live with me and honestly, there is no reason for him to contact me. He is desperate for the control…
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Emotional Vampires
Let's discuss the long-term effects of hanging out with these emotional vamps. Think emotional exhaustion, like your emotional battery just hit rock bottom.
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Deer in Headlights
Don't be a Deer In Headlights. When you see red flags blazing, you need to RUN!
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At Least I Don’t Beat You
We are taught at a very young age that abuse is visible. If someone has a black eye, busted lip, bruises, etc…they could be the victim of abuse. What we aren’t taught, is that abuse isn’t always visible. That the absolute worse type of abuse doesn’t leave marks that are seen by the naked eye. Emotional, mental, and psychological abuse is so VERY damaging and often goes left unnoticed because we aren’t aware of what we should be looking for. The last 6+ years of my marriage was pure H E L L. And when I would tell him how mean he’d become and how very unloved and unwanted…
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Narcissistic Baiting…Who Knew This Was a Thing
Raise your hand if you’ve never heard of Narcissistic Baiting. Okay. My hand is up too. While I experienced this, pretty much daily, I had NO IDEA there was a name for it and that this very thing happened to other people. It blows my mind every time I learn that I am not alone in what I went through. The trauma, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and what is apparently called, Narcissistic Baiting. Narcissistic Baiting is when the narcissist instigates you. It’s when they do something that they know is going to trigger a response. You have become so frustrated with all of the lies and manipulation and constantly being told…
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Discovering NPD and Realizing You Aren’t the Issue
Discovering NPD, Narcissism Personality Disorder, has been like having ice-cold water dumped over my head. I feel that my life, since meeting my husband, has been an absolute lie.
